A Day In The Life Of An Unmentionable
by The Love Child Of McGonagall a
Summary: Well I think the title says it all really!


A Day In The Life Of An Unmentionable

"Hello, I'm Michaela Stratten, and I'm here to guide you through an average day in the life of an Unmentionable! Now I know that many of you girls and boys sat at home are wondering, what is an Unmentionable? Normally on shows of this kind, I would tell you. Unfortunately, that is classified information, which apparently even T.V journalists aren't permitted to know. But never mind, for today, we'll be following around someone who I've been led to believe works for the Unmentionable department of the Ministry of Magic! Who knows, maybe we'll even get it out of him by the end of the day!

Oh, and here he is now! Excuse me, but are you Danielus Nasden?"

The camera pans out to reveal who we can only assume to be a man, wearing black from head to toe, his face covered by a black sheet, with small slits for eyes nose and mouth holes

"Who wants to know?"

"Michaela Stratten, from the WWBC (that's Witches and Wizards Broadcasting Company to all our viewers at home!)"

"And am I supposed to care?"

"You don't have to I suppose, but I'm going to be following you around for the remainder of the day, so it might help if you would confirm to me that you are Danielus Nasden."

"I don't give away my identity to anyone I don't know. You should refer to me simply as Q."

"Um, okay then! Now Q, care to tell the girls and boys at home what you do for a living?"

"I'm and Unmentionable for the Ministry of magic."

"And, uh, care to tell the girls and boys what that means?"

"It means I do a job that you're not important enough to know about."

"Okay, moving on.....can you describe an average day in your life?"

"No. Please move, I need to get to work."

"Oh, okay, how are we getting there then?"

"We? You can't come."

"Why on earth not? I can hardly do a documentary on a day in your life if I don't come to work with you!"

"Listen lady, I'm not good with women, so I have to ask. Are you hitting on me?"

"No I am not! I am merely trying to do my job, which you are making very difficult!"

"Okay then, how's this. You can come with me to work, provided you wear a blindfold for the entire time."

"Well I suppose it's better than nothing...."

"Take it or leave it."

"Okay, I'll come!"

We see Michaela being blindfolded, and the camera lens is suddenly taped up so we can't see anything either. All we can hear is Michaela babbling on. We cut for a few minutes, then her voice comes back on.

"Hello and welcome back! I apologise for the fact you can't see anything, but to be quite frank, I'm sure you're not missing much! I'm now being dragged round forcefully by 'Q' and I must say, this isn't very thrilling so far!"

"Listen lady, you're the one that wanted to come, now you either enjoy it, or I have you disposed of."

"You do that sort of thing?"

"I might do. After all, you don't know anything about my job do you?"

"Okay okay, I'll try and enjoy myself! But do you think you could loosen the ropes around my wrists a little?"

"No."

"Okay.......so where are we now?"

"My office."

"Ohh, so you have an office?"

"Maybe."

"And uh, what are we doing in your 'maybe' office?"

"You are being annoying. I am reading a letter."

"Can you read it to our viewers?"

"I suppose so. It says:

Dear Q,

We're definitely going ahead with you-know-what, you-know-where on the you-know-when. We look forward to your company. By the way, did you finish you-know-whating the you know-what I you-know-whated to you? This message will self-destruct you-know-when.

Yours,

S.

There, satisfied?"

"I suppose so....what's you know what and where's you know where?"

"I can't tell you. The fact you have to ask is a big enough sign of your ignorance."

"Okay, but can you tell me when you know when is, so I can get out of the way for when the letter self destructs?"

There is the sound of a small explosion.

"Okay, too late. Never mind. Now, can you tell me what you're now going to spend to day doing?"

"I am going to finish you-know-whating the you-know-what that S sent me."

"Okay, thank you for that. Are we going to get absolutely anything else out of you?"

"No."

"Okay, fair enough."

"Will you please leave now?"

"Am I annoying you?"

"Yes."

"Can I be your secretary? Secretary's are meant to annoy people right?"

"No."

"Well what do you want me to do?"

"Go away."

"Fair enough. Okay boys and girls, you have been watching today's 'Exploring Magic' and I hope you learned alot! Michaela Stratton, sighing off."


End file.
